Come Out Swinging
by Sushi Chi
Summary: Torchwood Three Team are out relaxing when a bet is made. And the bet seems impossible to win until Ianto gets his turn.


**Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Torchwood or it's characters. And this is sad, but I will survive through fanfiction. So, yay for fanfiction.  
A/N: Okay, not sure where this idea came from. But it amused me. And my friend thought it was 'terribly cute'. So, it's kinda fluffy. But I enjoy it. And if you enjoy it, feel free to review (it'd make me happy). **

The Torchwood Three Team had once again, saved the world. Okay, so maybe it was just that half of the world. Alright, so it may have only been Great Britain. Fine, so it was only Cardiff. Okay, maybe they had saved a team member. Alright, it may have gotten a big dodgy out there. Fine, so the only think that happened that day was that Gwen broke a nail, but that doesn't mean that the Torchwood Three Team couldn't go out to a pub that night and celebrate nothing.

So that's how they found themselves in the local pub and all sharing a table talking, of course, about past exploits.

"-Seriously! You should have seen them. I mean, they both looked like gods. And all I could do is have sex with them. Of course even the perfect gods couldn't say no to the Harkness Charm-"

"I thought you were saying they had put the whammy on you?"

"Well, it was more of a mutual whammy-"

"But they were aliens!"

"Need I remind you, 51st century guy! And like I said, they both looked like these gorgeous, perfect, gods."

"Face it Jack, they only had sex with you because they knew you couldn't - and wouldn't - say no. Besides, you said you were Torchwood and probably just put the whammy on you so that you didn't, y'know, go all Torchwood on them."

"'Go all Torchwood on them'?"

"Shut up, Ianto!"

"I've still got more charm than any of you." Jack protested, flashing a huge grin.

Owen scoffed, "Please! I bet I could pick up a girl faster than you."

"No way! I've got the Harkness Charm! Just ask Ianto!"

They all turned to look at the youngest in the team. He just shrugged slightly, "Don't ask me. I didn't fall for his 'Harkness Charm'. I was the one who reeled him in."

"What? No you didn't!" Jack protested.

"I am the one who initiated our sex life."

"Yes, but that's only because you couldn't hold out against my Charm any longer-"

Ianto just raised an eyebrow at the Captain. Silence filled the table for a moment. That is until Owen broke it, "Yeah, well, I still bet I can pick up a girl better than either of you two."

"Wanna bet?" Jack asked, leaning in closer to the doctor.

"Oh yeah. You're on!" Owen said, grinning. "Tosh, pick out the girl all of us guys should try and pick up-"

"Hey!" Ianto said, "I never agreed to-"

"Shut up, Ianto! You're in on this too. Though I will have the first go at her, and then if I can't pick her up, Jack gets a go and last if she doesn't fall for either of us, Ianto can try."

Toshiko grinned as she pointed out a pretty blonde girl who looked relatively bored. Gwen sputtered into her drink, the girl Tosh picked seemed to be out of their league, but still, it would be amusing to watch.

Owen nodded and headed out across the pub to the woman. The table of Torchwood Three Team was silent once again, awaiting the reaction. The girl seemed indifferent to Owen and Jack let out a small 'yes!' when Owen's shoulder's slumped and he headed back to the table.

"Struck out did'ya?" Jack mocked. "Just watch and learn." He quickly finished his drink and before heading over turned to Ianto, "I'm sorry to say that she will undoubting fall for my Charm, but Ianto, darling, don't get jealous."

"Don't call me darling."

Jack smirked and headed over to the same girl as Owen had. This time she looked slightly annoyed and Jack's stance suddenly became rigged as it appeared as if he was getting a rather stern talking-to. He came back suddenly, "Ianto, darling-" in which Ianto glared at Jack, "I feel sorry for you. But you need to have a go as well. Hope she doesn't smack you."

Ianto got up and rolled his eyes, "I just want to say that I am doing this under protest. I do not need to prove that I can pick up dates like the two of you," at this he shot a short glare to the other two men, "but if I don't do it Owen will just make fun of me and Jack - I just don't want to hear it. So, I am doing this." He suddenly smirked, "And don't be surprised if I get her to dance with me."

With that Ianto walked over to her. His shoulders were already slumped and he just stood in front of her for a second. She looked up at him coldly, "What is this? Idiots aren't leaving me alone tonight."

"May I be frank, miss?" Ianto asked, his face impassive.

Her brow furrowed, "If you be quick about it."

He nodded his thanks, "I am sorry, miss, but I am out with my boss and co-workers and some how the two idiots in our group decided that we needed to have a contest as to who can pick up a woman faster. I am sorry that you were singled out to do this childish bet, that I was against from the beginning. But miss, you have to believe me when I say that I am sorry for the way they've all been acting."

"Alice."

"What?" Ianto asked.

"My name is Alice, not miss." She smiled and patted the seat beside her.

Ianto smiled gratefully, "Well Alice, it's splendid to meet you. I'm Ianto. Again, I'd like to apologize for what my co-worker and boss got us both roped into."

"So, which was which?" She asked.

"Owen, my co-worker, is the first guy. The one who resembles a frog?" At this Alice giggled, "And Jack is my boss. Along with boyfriend so I'm really rather pissed that he put us in this position."

"Boyfriend?" Her smile faltered for a second before coming back, "Ianto, you're shagging your boss?"

He smirked, "Indeed I am."

Back at the table, it was once again, silenced. All of them staring at Ianto and the girl. Who seemed to be very friendly.

"-so Mr. Frog started it?"

"Well, Jack did help. He was saying that it was his Charm that got us together. And then they had to have a manly standoff as to who had the best Charm. If you ask me, I'd say they're both compensating but I know that Jack isn't therefore Owen must be."

Alice chuckled, "So, Mr. Smile is well endowed?"

Ianto let out a breath, "You've no idea, Alice." He paused, "Will you help me with this bet a bit more?" She nodded to him, and mischievous smile found her face, "Alright then, lets dance." He grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor.

"Bloody hell!" Owen said as he watched the teaboy and the pub girl go out to dance, "He did it. He got the ice bitch to dance with him! How the hell did he manage that?"

"They make a great looking couple." Gwen said in a dreamy voice, watching the two dance to the face paced song. They moved together very well. When the song ended a slow one started and Ianto and the girl were pressed up against each other, with Ianto whispering into her ear.

This caused Jack to get jealous. A scowl set on his face he started towards Ianto and the girl.

Alice chuckled into Ianto's ear, "Oh no. Mr. Smile doesn't look too happy."

"He can be rather possessive." Ianto sighed, "What is he doing now? Glaring at us?"

"No, he seems to be very put out." Alice commented, "He's stomping over to us."

"Oh God." Ianto groaned, "He's jealous." Alice let out an appreciative giggle in his ear.

Jack tapped Ianto on the shoulder when he got close enough. He wanted to grab his lover and do a very explicit snog fest with him just to show this pub girl who Ianto was with when he heard Ianto sigh and give Jack a look of indifference with a playfulness in his eyes.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Smile." Alice greeted, "Just having a nice chat with Ianto here. He was much better at picking me up than you or Mr. Frog. He's got the best Charm."

Jack sputtered for a second. Ianto chuckled, "Alice, dear, you've made Jack speechless. Not many can do that."

She beamed at him.

"You told her what we were doing?"

"Well sure," Ianto started when he was cut off by Alice.

"Not at first Mr. Smile. See, Ianto felt bad for leading me on," Alice lied easily, making it seem as if Ianto had actually used some line to pick her up, "and so he told me how you and Mr. Frog made a bet about who could pick me up. Which is really rather un-charming and-"

"Did you just call Owen 'Mr. Frog'?" Jack asked, breaking out into a grin.

"Yep." She grinned. "Ianto is the one who pointed out that he resembles one."

Jack actually laughed out loud then, a true laugh. "I think I like you Alice."

With that the two members of Torchwood Three Team said their goodbyes to Alice and made their way back to their table. Once there Jack kissed Ianto like he had wanted too.

"God," Owen exclaimed, "I should have know that Jack would find it kinky that Ianto could pick up girls."

Jack broke the kiss and chose to ignore Owen's statement, "Well, Mr. Frog, I think we both lost this bet to Ianto."

There was a second pause before Owen sputtered: Mr. Frog?!


End file.
